WHEN I WAS A KID I NEVER GOT AN ALLOWANCE | WHAT REALLY HAPPENED


WHEN I WAS A KID I NEVER GOT AN ALLOWANCE

(*but my friends did , on Saturdays , they'd head to the store and buy some candy , ciggeretts , balsa wood gliders , or yoyo's , tops , comic books , kid stuff .
I didn't get that welfare handout from my parents . I had to report to my battle station for provision maneuvers .
For cigarettes I would need cash , because they were behind the counter , and the attendant had to hand them to us , no ID necessary , so I would resort to propaganda , and say they were for my mom .
I'd have to breach the border of the parents room , go behind enemy lines , execute a preemptive attack on the cash draw , and loot the enemy's treasury for the obligatory $.27cents , as they were priced under the nations horrifying days of socialism .
For all other items, in the red zone of the store's floor , I would resort to the covert operation of shoplifting , up , under the shirt , up the sleeve , in the pocket , of my ill fitted PI (*PARENTAL ISSUED) uniform , moving quickly to confuse , while constantly scanning the perimeter for the enemy , the store dick .
If these facts , as alleged , are true , I actually was a better Role Model , for America's Youth , from A More Principled Nation , I MEAN FAMILY , then the welfare mooching , allowance grabbers , my , lesser then myself , communist , nazi , socialist , childhood , and adolescent friends were .)

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